Drawing the line...

I had heard this saying somewhere a few months back - 'People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do'.


But it is always easier said than done. How do you let go off someone who was there in your life for some time - be it just for a reason or a season? For people like me it is hard and next to impossible. The emotional and caring me, gets on to me and refuses to listen to any philosophy or reasoning justifying this particular act. Many a times, I would be the first one who would go and apologize in case of any argument or would try and make up a conversation(even after I call myself an introvert) or come up with various ways of confronting the person involved and ask what went wrong. This definitely is not as easy as it sounds. Letting go off your ego is one big thing in us humans, and we generally don't sacrifice it for anyone or anything. But for me its opposite. It's always my friends and ego next.


Recently I have learnt a new thing though. I have learnt to 'Draw a line!'. It's when you realize that it is finally time to stop hurting yourself first than trying not to hurt others by not pulling away. If distance is what it takes to keep calm, so be it. If distance is what your friend wants, even after numerous tries, so be it. The more you run behind someone, the more desperate you sound and it is generally taken in a negative sense - like you can't survive without that someone when what you are actually trying to do is save the relationship. Let them go. If they are meant to be with you, they will come back no matter what. Else, they were never meant to be with you. (Another random piece philosophy shit I know, but I does work!) I did it with two very special friends in my life. One came back, and one never bothered to. I let the other one go, even though I still miss that friend. Probably the reason was fulfilled.

Decoding Boredom!

Its said - An empty mind is devil's workshop. I say - An empty mind kills you of boredom.

I think I desperately need a way out of boredom, a way to pass my time during those not so busy weeks which offers me with just 4 lectures. Slowly I am getting exhausted with all the options for timepass. Like the other day I decorated my room with some mirrors. Or like this weekend I finished the entire 3rd season of Gossip Girl.
Don't know what happened to my resolutions of going for a jog early morning (well, don't know whom I am kidding! Since when I started getting up early), or reading newspapers and magazines on a daily basis (a habit once gone is difficult to adopt again. But I have to let the excuses pass asap!!!), or doing things which I love doing the most like painting..
I think I am suffering from a syndrome called Starting Problem. This disease generally infects vehicles but like always I am an exception. I am still not sure if the classic remedy of tilting the vehicle will work on me, but I know that I definitely need to do something about it......

It used to be just yesterday.....

As I lay sleepless on my bed at 3am, I wonder on how time swifts by you without giving you any feel of motion. It used to be just yesterday when I was in 1st grade waiting for my dad to come back from office and teach me how to draw a butterfly. When I used to wear my mom's sarees folded half to fit my size and play Ghar Ghar with our neighbor's daughter. It used to be just yesterday when I used to feel jealous of my friend having a Aladin to cling on to her pencil and wanted the same thing. When I got the role of a Moon in my first and last play ever and forced my dad to buy me a beautiful white gown as a costume. It used to be just yesterday when I went up to the Principal to complain that no one in my class talks to me. When I used to play Stapoo on the roads with the kids in the colony. When I used to steal fruits from the trees in someone else's house. It used to be just yesterday when a guy proposed to me in 7th grade and I came back crying home, asking mom for her expert advice. When I had my first crush (after I got to know what exactly crush means) on this guy in class who seemed to be so cute. It seemed to be just yesterday when I was studying crazily for my boards wanting to prove something to the society. When I used to manage my time between school, tuition, evening games and studies, and competitive exams pressure. It used to be just yesterday that I was on 9th cloud, having gotten into AIT and dad buying me my very own mobile phone. When my graduation got over and I had 3 companies in hand to choose from. It used to be just yesterday when I joined Infosys and went to Mysore for training. When I got posted to Mangalore and made some awesome friends. It used to be just yesterday when I was jumping all around the office announcing - 'I am quitting the company!'. When I was giving my friends farewell dinner and promising them that I will come back to Mangalore soon. It used to be just yesterday when I was in this college called GIM (which looked nothing less than a construction site) all alone, registering for my MBA degree. It used to be just yesterday when I got my dream internship in an advertising agency and I was all excited about the first day.
Life is going to take an altogether different track soon. And I am welcoming it open hands and mind, and a mental preparedness that I am not that kid anymore who used to play Ghar Ghar with other kids in the neighborhood. Its time, and I know I would take the best path of all.

Water, Baby!!

Jodhpur is burning 48 freaking degree Celsius. Everything around you is hot - the tap water, sheets on the bed, drinking water, clothes you wear. I tend to open the refrigerator and stand in front of it, pretending to think but in real trying to take in some cool air, but soon I realize that the air coming out isn't cool enough. This place is loke God's Own Tandoor and I know anytime soon I am going to come out as a delicious Tandoori Human. I have realized that this is probably the best time of the year for a vacation in Rajasthan!!

The only respite from this burning heat is a pool filled with warm water and a jump in the pool two times a day. It gives a soothing feeling to my senses, it relaxes me, and it tickles my palms and feet, and makes me smile. The pool is massive, King Size. And no doubt I have fallen in love with it. I look forward to my next rendezvous all the time, and when I am on my date I soak in as much pleasure as I can in that limited time.

It's an altogether different world out there. There are people of all ages - dads, moms, kids, guys, uncles. Dads are teaching their kids how to swim, kids are having fun chatting and playing with their friends in that huge water body, teenagers are somersaulting, others are relaxing in the shallow and deep side, and a few serious swimmers like me are constantly on a move. I love watching the crowd at times. It takes me into my store of memories. Reminds me of the time when dad used to teach me how to swim, of the girl who taught me how not to be scared of water and swim underwater, of Anuj who used to swim furiously to and fro throwing half of the water outside the pool, of the time after my competitive exams were over when I was on a weight reduction drive, of the lifeguard who use to tie rope on my waist to teach me to float on water, and the national level swimmer in Mangalore who corrected my strokes.

For a few minutes each day, I lay flat on my back and float. I lay still. Ears in the water make me immune to worldly noise. I look at the sky above and think. Think about random things. Relax. Let myself go. Let myself free. Then I slowly open my arms to soak in all the happiness, the positive feeling, the love, and give out all the  negativity, anger, jealousy. Its like a connection between me and the universe. We are one for those few minutes. Its just beautiful what happens there in those few minutes. Magic I would say......

And finally I have my very own favorite sport. I love swimming.....